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Do Amish and Mennonite girls get to pick their husbands?

 I grew up in a plain hybrid Amish/Mennonite community in Michigan that was part of a larger church in Pennsylvania called Charity Christian Fellowship. People did not date in these plain religious communities. Instead, they did something called courtship or courting.   My first personal interaction with this process was when my favorite big brother decided to marry when I was seven years old. The first thing he did was go to our Father and ask what he thought about the young lady from the church he’d been praying about getting to know better.  Our father gave his blessing and went to go visit the young lady’s father to inquire if he was open to marrying his daughter to my brother. Her father gave his blessing and said he’d ask her if she was open to entering a courtship with my brother with the goal of marriage within 6 months.  She said YES when her father asked and their courtship officially began.  My brother and now dear sister-in-law were made fo...
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Can Amish or Mennonite girls play with toy trucks and tractors?

Growing up girls were not allowed to play with toy trucks or tractors. In fact, this played out into quite the funny little story growing up. I was a thumb sucker and very oppositional at times. It was not the easiest task in the world for my parents to “break my spirit” as instructed by the church in early childhood. 

My parents tried everything to get me to stop sucking my thumb but I couldn't have cared less. It comforted me and I knew it embarrassed my parents that I couldn’t pretend to be the perfect child they desired. 

They didn’t have my heart or my mind. But, I did have a plan. I wanted a toy tractor set from the “farm store” like my brothers. 

My mother would have me sleep with socks tied over my hands and dip my hands in vinegar and bitter-tasting herbal solutions. I’d be spanked for great amounts of time in attempts to stop the embarrassing habit, but to no effect. They took away my favorite security blanket I slept with every night and carried around in hopes I’d quit. Yet, I was not deterred from my penchant for thumb sucking. 

Finally, at the age of 5, my parents gave in and negotiated for me to pick up a tractor set in exchange for promising to stop sucking my thumb. This was good parenting. I accepted and was soon the proud owner of a little red tractor with an attaching red hay-baler. I made little bales of hay out of old strips of cloth and had a blast. I also no longer sucked my thumb. 

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