Amish children and those raised in Mennonite and plain communities have a lot of rules to follow and high expectations. For example, a 4-year-old is expected to sit quietly through a 2 to 3-hour church service without fussing or entertainment. If the child is wiggling or starts being disruptive one of the parents will take them out for a spanking. This will repeat without deviation until the child stops being a child and sits perfectly still for the duration of the long Sunday services.
These spankings would be with a 2" by 1" wooden 3 foot rod or larger depending on the day. Some days I was struck with thick pointy tree branches, or a toilet-bowl brush, or wire hanger.
Corporal punishment is not only the golden standard for child raising in these communities but is viewed as a command from God. They interpret Proverbs 23: 13 - 14 literally "Do not with- hold discipline from your son; if you beat him with a rod, he will not die".
It was a common experience growing up to have one of my parents sit on my upper body so they could hold down my legs with one hand and spank my bum with a paddle in the other hand. These spankings would be lengthy and not stop until I apologized, which was difficult to do in the context of the innate realization of right and wrong installed in every human being at birth. What was happening was wrong and I knew it with every part of my being. Despite later starting to quiet my voice in favor of peace as I grew older and wearier in my teenage years.
There were also benefits to the hardships experienced growing up. I was raised to be strong. I am forever grateful that my parents tried to teach me to have self-restraint and work hard. These are things that have made me the person who I am today. Life and families are complicated. One might think after all these bad things that one would hold on to the black and white worldview taught during childhood and throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. However, that is not the case. People change! This is something so incredible and I know within the depth of my heart it is true.
Yes, there were bad things in my childhood and the Amish and plain way of raising children is abusive without a doubt and has left lasting psychological impacts. But, I also have the rare privilege of knowing that people change and that lends such a brightness. My parents are no longer part of the Amish/Mennonite hybrid called Charity Christian Fellowship and went to counseling and addressed bad things that happened. These is two sides of a coin and despite any circumstances with a heart for learning darkness can be turned to hope and progress
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