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Do Amish and Mennonite girls get to pick their husbands?

 I grew up in a plain hybrid Amish/Mennonite community in Michigan that was part of a larger church in Pennsylvania called Charity Christian Fellowship. People did not date in these plain religious communities. Instead, they did something called courtship or courting.   My first personal interaction with this process was when my favorite big brother decided to marry when I was seven years old. The first thing he did was go to our Father and ask what he thought about the young lady from the church he’d been praying about getting to know better.  Our father gave his blessing and went to go visit the young lady’s father to inquire if he was open to marrying his daughter to my brother. Her father gave his blessing and said he’d ask her if she was open to entering a courtship with my brother with the goal of marriage within 6 months.  She said YES when her father asked and their courtship officially began.  My brother and now dear sister-in-law were made for each other across time and desti
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Do Amish women want to have large families?

 Think about your circle of friends. Does every woman you know want to have 10 children and spend the majority of their time pregnant or breastfeeding for decades? Why do the Amish have such large families? Is there something in the food that just makes every Amish or Plain woman want to have a large family? 

This is a question I find very difficult considering the national conversation right now in regards to the recent SCOTUS overturn of Roe vs. Wade (which I disagree with - legal is better for human life despite personally being against having an abortion in regards to my bodily anatomy). The tragic truth is that Amish and those in plain religious communities don’t have the option of delaying or limiting the number of children they have after marriage. They also don’t have the luxury of medically assisted births or support during pregnancy. 

Most Amish and Plain girls are NOT taught about sex before marriage. In the case of my older sister, our Mother told her the morning of her wedding about sex and that it was something God expected her to give her new husband. Can you imagine the discomfort a girl feels all of a sudden expected to go from never even touching or holding hands to naked and sexual within hours? It is traumatic. 

No form of birth control is allowed. I recall thinking as a child something was wrong if a couple married and 9 months later there was no baby to hold. There is also no break in between pregnancies with the wife expected to resume sex with her husband within weeks of giving birth. And the struggle for mothers who struggle to have an ample supply of breast milk. As formula is also a big no-no and all women are assumed able to breastfeed and if not a personal mark against them and a sign from God not walking in submissive purity to their husbands. 

Not to mention the horror of giving birth at home without any ability of the midwives to provide oxygen if the baby is born struggling or give a blood transfusion if a lot of blood was lost. My mother almost died giving birth to one of my little sisters. The midwife was screaming and begging my father to please allow my mother to go to the hospital as bleeding out and her life was at risk. Yet, my father refused and said if she died that was the will of God and he would not interfere with the divine plan. My heart still breaks. 

It is abuse at the highest level. Where are the feminists willing to stand up for the rights of Amish and Plain women? Do they not count since they are denied a liberal education and the resources to know they are being abused and a way out? 

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