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Do Amish and Mennonite girls get to pick their husbands?

 I grew up in a plain hybrid Amish/Mennonite community in Michigan that was part of a larger church in Pennsylvania called Charity Christian Fellowship. People did not date in these plain religious communities. Instead, they did something called courtship or courting.   My first personal interaction with this process was when my favorite big brother decided to marry when I was seven years old. The first thing he did was go to our Father and ask what he thought about the young lady from the church he’d been praying about getting to know better.  Our father gave his blessing and went to go visit the young lady’s father to inquire if he was open to marrying his daughter to my brother. Her father gave his blessing and said he’d ask her if she was open to entering a courtship with my brother with the goal of marriage within 6 months.  She said YES when her father asked and their courtship officially began.  My brother and now dear sister-in-law were made fo...
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Sex in the Amish and Plain Communities

I grew up in a plain Amish/Mennonite hybrid community called Charity Christian Fellowship. Healthy sexual behavior was demonized and sex was confined to within a semi-arranged marriage approved by the parents.

Impure thoughts or sexual desires were pinned on women and girls resulting in the need for us to wear long flowing dresses and veils to avoid causing a man or boy to sin. Due to healthy sexual feelings being demonized, men and boys would refocus their desires to the most depraved and horrific sexual situations in mainstream society. 

Men and boys in our community fucked goats and pigs. Two boys who were the sons of one of the (two) church elders fucked their pigs. They also invited one of my brothers and another boy whose family was part of the church to watch and do as well. 

One of my other brothers was sent out to work for another church member in their window shop. He told me about how the father would confess to him that he was very aroused by the sheep and in times of weakness would make love to multiple sheep. These horrific happenings were considered normal things to share with others. Almost, like how one in mainstream society might discuss eating a second slice of chocolate cake or forgetting to shut the barn door. 

Worse even yet was that pedophilia was heavily present in our community growing up. Children were prime victims of misplaced sexual urges and being so controlled and isolated from society, that no justice happened. Often, victims don't even know about law enforcement or that they worked to prevent these bad things from stopping. 

I know of a family in our church where the parents were cousins and had two healthy sons and two mentally handicapped daughters. The sons raped the daughters, their sisters, growing up and nothing was ever done to help. Everything in these strict religious communities was swept under the rug and ignored. It haunts me still today. 

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